I ain’t done. I ain’t quitting ‘til I’m dead.
And then I want y’all to carry me off the battlefield on my shield, and then keep fighting.
Because that’s the only way we’re gonna hack this universe into a more human-friendly place.
– Mighty Casey Quinlan, in conversation with Danny van Leeuwen
Captain America,
Clad in red, white, and blue,
Took his super serum,
Fighting battles so others didn’t have to.
The idea of Steve Rogers, or someone who would stand up and take the hits for others –
Who would sacrifice everything for humanity –
Felt so novel to me as a child spending more time with villains than heroes.
As I grew older,
I learned that I was too loud, too righteous – too much.
I stuffed my personality, my thirst for true equity and justice,
Deep down inside of me, to depths I couldn’t reach.
In 2016, I met my Captain.
Mighty Casey,
With her infamous fire red hair,
Walking Gallery jacket, and QR code tattoo.
She stood on stages, educating the masses,
Pushing back against greed, stolen data, and paternalism in healthcare.
I watched on,
Her words igniting the coal fire I’d locked away
Somewhere deep, below ground
In the abandoned city residing in my Central(ia) Nervous System.
Casey taught me that ‘too much’ didn’t exist,
That we can shift how we use that energy, that fire,
To help others witness it without getting burned.
Controlling a fire is much harder than it seems,
And there were times that fire almost consumed me.
But, every time I walked away with burns,
Casey was there, holding the aloe spray.
As I tended to my wounds, she was there,
Offering kind words and reminders that this was growth –
And that this growth could change the world.
Steve Rogers had his super serum,
But Casey – Casey had cancer.
The fire in her bones, her very cells
Fought for years to take her down.
Unlike Steve, she had no ‘cure,’
No ‘fix’ for what was consuming her.
Even then, even during the worst of it all,
She continued to fight,
To be that human torch reminding us all
To push for better.
It’s been nearly six weeks now,
Six weeks since Casey’s body –
Somehow both mighty and frail –
Was carried off the battlefield.
We had no shield made of vibranium to set her on,
No city, state, or worldwide mourning or celebration in her name.
Still, her spirit remains.
And it is far stronger than any vibranium, infinity gauntlet, or cancer could ever be.
